You had a bad day. You’re taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. You say you don’t know. You tell me don’t lie. You work at a smile and you go for a ride. You had a bad day.
I talked to a couple of my friends (who will remain unnamed here) today who had a bad day this past Sunday. They are working at a smile and I’m not sure they went for a ride. But it was a bad day.
And it ain’t exactly over.
This happily married couple who have been married around 40 years had been out of town for the weekend and when they arrived back home on Sunday afternoon, he was opening his mail and noticed a letter to him from a law firm from a town about 100 miles south of his town. As you could imagine a personal letter from an unfamiliar attorney got his attention.
When my friend , who happens to be a very well known businessman, read the letter he almost fainted. He immediately read the letter to his wife. The letter from the attorney stated that a young girl had a baby in January and she had named him as a potential father. My friend was ordered to come to the town 100 miles away for DNA tests.
You think I’m kidding?
Not only had my friend not been to that town in years where this alleged roll in the onion field happened, but he also had a vasectomy about 30 years ago.
After the shock of the letter they laughed and called their daughter who lives in another town. She laughed with them and told her dad he needed to keep it in his pants. My friend laughingly said he has had many conversations with his daughter over the years but never had she told him that.
The next day he called the attorney’s office and finally had a clerk call him back. He explained to her they obviously had the wrong person. Her response was that she had worked at the law firm for many years and they had never made the mistake of sending such a letter to the wrong person.
He assured her they had this time.
The crazy thing is that he still is not sure if he has been excused from having to show up for DNA tests in this unnamed town.
The thought of my 60 year old friend driving 100 miles and arriving at Family and Children Services in his black business suit and having to stand in line to get his DNA test done to see if he is the father of this baby makes me laugh.
Out loud.
I would pay money to be in the waiting room to watch my friend waiting in line with the other potential dads to get checked. I would love to have a picture of that.
The camera don’t lie. You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind. You had a bad day.
Yep, that my friend is a bad day.
5 comments:
I feel his pain.
Be sure to let us know the outcome of the DNA test.
Hey Bruce - It's the daughter of the accused. My 3 year old daughter asked her grandfather tonight how her new Uncle ---- is doing. Of course my parent's found this to be hysterical. She even picked out one of her balloons from the weekend and said "This one is for Uncle ----." I am going to print this article and put it in her baby book so she will laugh with the rest of us when she is old enough to understand. This is so funny, especially to those of us who know the accused.
A, the more I thought about the story your mom and dad told me, the funnier it got. I was literally laughing driving down the road thinking about the scenario I wrote about. I watched my wife read this blog a few minutes ago and she was laughing out loud reading it. Your mom and dad are great folks and also great sports. Sooooo funny.
Bruce,
I have some good news. Roscoe is not, I repeat not my son. I was released without having to submit to a DNA test. I sure am glad because I have spent the college fund money.
Thanks for your concern.
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