A Choice We Make

He did everything for her. He made her laugh, made a living and made sure the whole family was in church every time the doors opened. He even did the grocery shopping. One minute he was here. The next minute he was gone. Not just gone on a business trip. But really gone.

Ralph Rudolph Underwood, age 49, died on May 9, 1972, leaving a young wife and four children to fend for themselves. Irene Underwood became a widow at the young age of 43. Her children were ages 22, 17, 13, and 7. Not a good time for a daddy, role model, and provider to go on such an extended trip. But he did anyway.

Life can be like that.

Being in the funeral business I have seen that scenario play out over and over in the lives of countless numbers of families. The same question continues to be asked.

Why?

I have heard plenty of people try to answer that but to tell you the truth, I’ve never heard a good answer.

When I was growing up in Reynolds there was a young man who delivered Grits newspapers by the name of Eulan Brown. Eulan had a physical handicap. I’m not sure if he had muscular problems or central nervous system problems. But he had a tough time keeping his balance - especially on a bicycle. Most any day you could see Eulan in the ditch, bicycle on its side - Grits papers strewn everywhere.

Each and every time he fell, Eulan would take the time to gather all the papers, put them back in the basket , get back on his bicycle and continue on down the road. He never quit. He just kept right on delivering Grits newspapers.

You can learn life lessons from people like Eulan Brown.

…and Irene Underwood.

Irene did not have a physical handicap but she was certainly handicapped – being alone with four children to rear. And there is do doubt she found herself many times in the ditch with her papers strewn everywhere. And I’m sure she must have asked why - more than a few times along the way.

But she always picked up the papers, got back on her bicycle and continued on down the road. The word “quit” was not in her vocabulary.

Nor should it be in ours.

I buried Eulan Brown many years ago but I never forgot him. I tell his story and lessons I learned from his life all over the country. There is no way he could even begin to imagine how many people his life has impacted. Eulan probably thought his life didn’t count for a whole lot.

Irene Underwood is my mother in law. She finished raising those four children and they all turned out just fine. They never missed a meal along the way. The word quit is not in their vocabulary either. They carry the lesson their mom taught them everywhere they go.

And so does this son-in-law.

I’ve been thinking. Maybe we are asking the wrong question.

Maybe the question should not be why when we find ourselves in the ditch.

Maybe we should be asking how fast will we be able to get our papers back in the basket and get out of the ditch and get back on our bicycle - so we can move on down the road.

It is definitely a choice we make.