This Dance is for You

You are about to read about the anchor of a very prominent family from Butler, Georgia. I wrote this poem over 5 years ago as a request from her children. They were honoring their mom on her 70th birthday. They threw a party and most everybody in the county was there that night. Their mom has since married a long time friend, Harold Heath. To this day Phyllis Heath continues to live life to the fullest. This year, at her request, I spoke at the Georgia Key Club Convention which Phyllis continues to sponsor. This very happy couple spends a lot of time these days traveling and enjoying life… and more importantly - enjoying each other.

God love ‘em.

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In the days when Hoover was on the way out and FDR was on the way in,
When the Babe was hitting homeruns and the Yanks would always win.
When rock music was grandma’s lullaby and most people had common sense.
When “pot” was what you cooked in and “coke” was a drink that costs 5 cents.

When right was right and wrong was wrong and the difference was easy to see.
When God and family were the focus of life and love was meant to be.
When people took care of others and made sacrifices for those in their life.
When things were so much slower and there was not nearly as much strife.

A very special person was born – to a Baptist preacher and his wife no less.
The influence she would have on others, nobody could ever even guess.
Phyllis Dunn was born. Of course some time later Mrs.Jimmy Smith she would be.
Tonight we honor this very special lady and how special she is you will see.

Her children shared with me some pictures, not from some old album or an old book,
But pictures from their own memories and gosh I’m glad I got to look.

I laughed at some of their pictures, but at some I was moved to tears.
It did not take me long to realize that his lady had very few peers.
She spends her life investing in her family and she has sacrificed with all her might.
You can see her investment has paid off as you look around this place tonight.

But she also invests in her church and in her community and places we don’t even know.
She has sewn so many seeds in young people and she continues to sew and sew.

Mrs. Phyllis, tonight with your kids blessing and permission (I would never be so bold),
I am about to share some things that need to be said but have never been told.
So everybody please listen carefully. Whatever you think is important can wait.
You are about to hear some important clues as to what makes a good family great.

Mrs. Phyllis, you once said that you felt better when you were pregnant – I wonder why?
Wayne said it was because you always were pregnant – 8 children – Oh my!
I don’t know how you had time to do much of anything but change diapers and such.
But you did much more than that and this family has been blessed so very much.

At night after the kids were in bed you always stayed up and worked – it was your way.
The floor was mopped, clothes were folded and set out for each child each day.
You always cooked a big breakfast and I’m not taking about some small meal.
We’re talking about pounds of bacon & sausage & eggs & grits – the whole deal.

As children none can remember you going to bed before they did at night.
And none of your kids ever remember waking up before you did, is that right?
There may be one exception – at Christmas time – a special time for this family you see.
They all fondly remember you letting them sleep in pallets by the Christmas tree.

Now Christmas was the biggest celebration in the Smith house by far.
Who remembers the scavenger hunt she put together when Dane got his first car?
And all the planning and cooking and shopping and wrapping – everybody had a ball.
You taught your kids the “love of giving” which is your greatest gift of all.

Your kids learned that giving you a gift certificate was not the thing to do.
You would spend the money on your kids instead of spending it on you.
To express the love you have shown for your children would be impossible to say.
You would have sold everything you had if you had to – to be sure they were ok.

Now Sundays were special days for the Smith clam – off to church you would go.
The boys were usually dressed alike and the girls in dresses you would sew.
Edie remembers one special dress. It was the most beautiful dress in town.
It was sewn by you with crinolines and had the biggest sash around.

How about all the white shoes polished and sitting on the window sill?
I think you took pride in the fact that your kids were dressed to kill.
Or the aroma in the house when for Sunday school you would all run.
Sunday dinner would already be on the stove and it would be almost done.

Now birthdays were a very big deal and they were held at home for goodness sake.
You cooked all the food they could eat with hats and horns and a special cake.
The cake was not just chocolate or coconut or some special lemon cheese.
But it was a GI Joe or Barbie or a football – or even a piano – thank you please.

Oh and those yearly trips to the beach – I tell you your kids will never forget that.
Everybody piled in the old station wagon – and the tire would always go flat.
The Neugebauers, the Scotts and Dunns in their own wagons would be all close behind.
You would stop for breakfast in Americus and life would then be just fine.

Some laughed at all the food and coolers and even vegetables you would take.
But you said the ones who laughed would always be the first to fix their plate.
You cooked and washed and cooked while everybody else played in the sun.
And when they came in this big, country-style lunch would always be done.

Seeing your kids enjoy themselves was what you were always about.
You remember all those rolls of nickels for skee-ball you would hand out?
Your children are now in awe of all the sacrifices for them you made.
And the memories of those incredible vacations will never, never fade.

The Smith house was always hectic and what was going on was always a lot.
And you would be oblivious in the kitchen – humming a tune and stirring a pot.
Your kids remember your calmness throughout their tumultuous years,
And the words “Be Good” when they left they house are still ringing in their ears.

You made your kids work and they all learned a lot from that no doubt.
For sixty months, Allen and Wayne had to get up for that paper route.
4:30 in the morning is pretty early to report to work – at least most would say.
They remember you let them alternate mornings – but you did it everyday.

The guys remember their college days. Bringing dirty laundry for you to do.
The clothes would be washed, ironed and folded – with a 20 dollar bill from you.
And the friends they would bring home – they would come from wide and far.
You would have to step over them to get to the kitchen wondering who they are.

Todd remembers a late softball tournament. Remember you never locked the door.
The first four people at the table for breakfast you had never seen before.
And Steve remembers coming home one morning after staying out all night.
Haley, he was a senior in college. Don’t you get any ideas, all right?

But for some strange reason the door was locked when Steve got home this day.
When you came to open the door there were no words you needed to say.
Steve’s story was that he got locked out when he went out to get the paper for the day.
Did he really think you ever believed that or that you were born yesterday?

There was one incident where the wool probably was pulled over your eyes.
Brothers will do things to protect each other, even if it means telling lies.
You remember when Allen fell off the skateboard and broke his arm so bad?
You may want to check into what really happened and I hope you don’t get mad.

You tried to act like you were never tired. Come on, with all you had to do?
But your kids happened to notice you could’t watch a move all the way through.
You would not admit it. “I’m just resting my eyes,” you would always say.
But your head flopping back and the snoring that followed always gave you away.

How many cruise ships have you been on with kids? Maybe that is when you slept.
Tia was proud you went with her class and of the secrets you always kept.
She said she was so proud to have such a “cool” Mom. The memories will never end.
She also says without any doubt, you are still her very best friend.

I wonder how many dove and quail you’ve cleaned and cooked along the way?
If you were paid for all the homemade biscuits, what would be your pay?
How may people have sat at your table and eaten to their hearts content?
If you charged boarding fees for all their friends, what would be the rent?

How many Key Club conventions have you attended and how many know your name?
How many lives have you touched and what was really your aim?
How many Sunday School lessons have you taught in that ladies class so dear.
How many church meals have you planned and cooked behind the scenes here?

How many times have you prayed for your family for whom you’ve sacrificed so much?
How many times did you give encouragement when they needed just such?
I wonder how many tears you have shed because you wanted them to turn out just right.
I wonder how many times you asked God to let each one see the light.

Nobody knows how many times, but they are way too numerous to count today.
Your children know they owe you and there is no way they can repay.
And this community owes you so much. Just look at the people here to honor you.
No way we can thank you enough for what you've done and continue to do.

Of all the things your children have said and all they have seen you do.
They have all seen Jesus all their lives. They have seen Him everyday in you.
They have seen your commitment to God as you walked through all kinds of strife.
You have buried a son, a husband and a baby sister – the toughest things in life.

Your children have been inspired by your love for life and this community has been too.
But your constant faith and love for the Lord is the greatest thing about you.
You are a role model and a Christian witness and a testimony to what God can do.
We all stand amazed at all God has done and the incredible way He’s used you.

You look at your seven children and their spouses. They are esteemed so high.
Then look at your grandchildren who think you hung the moon in the sky.
Then take a look at your church family and all the friends that came here tonight.
You have to admit you were a little surprised but it has to be a wonderful sight.

Don’t take me wrong. I know you’re only 70 and you’re a long way from being done.
But from this day on you don’t have to try to win - for you have already won.
So tonight we are going to have fun with great food and fellowship and great music too.
Your kids told me how well you can dance.  This dance is for you.