Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Have You Hugged Your Undertaker Today?

There are some great advantages to traveling all over the place. The number one advantage is I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of folks and make a lot of friends. As I have mentioned I’m in Oklahoma City this week. Today I visited with two of my favorite undertakers in the whole wide world. I want the whole wide world to see that undertakers don’t always look like what you might expect an undertaker to look like. I’ve seen those bumper stickers that say, “Have you hugged your undertaker today?” These two undertakers don’t need that bumper sticker on their car. They would no doubt get way too many hugs.

I will make a point to introduce you to more of my undertaking friends across the country as I get the urge. I may just change your concept of undertakers. But people like my friends Julie and Tracy are a couple of the real positives about traveling.

But I do have a few hang-ups.

At this point I think one would consider me a seasoned traveler. I can pack a bag in no time at all to be gone four days. I know just what I need and don’t even have to make a list. Hardly ever do I forget something. I’ve just done it so many times.

I know my way to where I park at the airport. No map is necessary. I used to know the people who check my car in but they have recently had a turnover. When I arrive at the airport I know just what to do to get my ticket and just what I need to take off and put up to get through security. As I have already mentioned I’m even on first name basis with a few of the shoeshine guys.

I am a gold member of the Priority Club and the Hilton Honors Club and the Marriott Club and Sheraton Starwood Club and I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few. Since I tend to visit the same cities I tend to know where to stay. I have figured traveling out.

But one thing I haven’t figured out is why in the world the hotel folks make it so hard to figure out how to turn the hot water on in the shower. I either burn my booty or freeze myself to death. Last night I tried to turn the hot shower on in the shower so I could hang a wrinkled suit that had been in my suitcase. (The steam gets the wrinkles out). But I never could get the hot water on. I turn the crazy knob every way you could imagine. I finally gave up.

Last time I stayed at this hotel I had to call a technical person up in my room at 6AM to show me how to turn the hot water on. It took him about 5 seconds. So when I couldn’t get it to turn on last night I decided against calling the mechanic. I didn’t want to look so foolish again.

This morning when I got in the shower I turned the funny looking knob and the hot water came right on. Go figure. When I got out of the shower a few minutes later I heard the hotel mechanic in the hall yelling to the man in the room across the hall to see if he had gotten his hot water on. That made me smile. That sucker couldn’t get his hot water on either. Sure made me feel better.

I wonder whatever happened to the two knobbed concept? One plainly said “HOT” or had a big “H” on the handle. And the other said “COLD” or had the big “C”. It really was easy. If you wanted hot just turn that knob. You want a little cold turn that knob. Not complicated at all.

I think for now on before I book a room I will ask how many knobs they have in their bathtub. If it’s only one, maybe I’ll find somewhere else to stay.

I’m definitely a two knobbed man. And life as a traveling undertaker can get kind of frustrating. But as long as I have undertakers like Julie and Tracy to visit I will overcome the frustrations.

By the way, have you hugged your undertaker today?


Judy said...

No I haven't hugged my undertaker today. But I didn't have any problem turning on the hot water this morning.

Anonymous said...

Bruce, I think they are the best looking undertakers I ever saw.

Anonymous said...

Hugging won't get you in trouble, will it? Next question, could I arrange a transfer?

Anonymous said...

I could use a hug from THOSE undertakers for sure.

Bruce Goddard said...

Judy, thanks for all your comments. You make me smile.

You other perverts, one of these ladies is happily married with a beautiful little girl and you would have to stand in line to even talk about going out with the other. You wish! :-)

Anonymous said...

My undertaker don't look like that!