Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Not So Royal Palm

Life on the road ain’t what you think.

I got an email from a business associate who checked in the Bates...I mean Royal Palm motel in a small unnamed town last night. The rate was $35 for the night. Room number 103. Not sure of the hourly rate but they probably had one. The clerk, being very service oriented and toothless, gave him the television remote at the front desk. He didn’t even bother to ask if they had wireless internet service.

This morning I saw a business email that was sent from him at 3AM. I can surmise if he was sending emails at that time of morning he was sleepless at the Royal Palm. I think he had one eye open for the cooties and one for the little mice that were probably lodging there as well. I am also sure he had an ear open for the motorcycle dude who was staying in the next room with the chains who is still trying to decide if he likes women or men the best. Not exactly a good environment for sleeping.

I checked on him this morning to be sure he made it out alive.

And to make sure he did not forget to turn his remote back in at the front desk.

I have had many memorable experiences at hotels and have found myself staying an undesirable places a few times because I had no other choice. A few months ago I stayed at a hotel and noticed the shower curtain was completed molded. I almost threw up. The very loud couple in the next room who I suppose were on the first night of their honeymoon did not help that night. But I am very picky about the hotels I choose. I will drive as many miles as it takes to stay somewhere that is seemingly clean and safe. Sometimes what seems to be clean isn’t exactly clean.

My hotel last night, for example, had a half empty (or half full if you are an optimist) bottle of shampoo on the soap dish in the shower when I got in this morning. I think it is safe to assume the shower was not cleaned from the night before. When I checked out I asked for a photograph of the person who stayed there the night before I did. They didn’t have one. I then asked for a photo of the person who was supposed to clean the room. They didn’t have one of those either.

I asked them if they wanted a photo of the half empty (or half full if you are an optimist) bottle of shampoo that was in my shower this morning. I did have that photo.

And I spent as much for parking at my hotel as my friend did for his room at the Royal Palm.

At least I discovered my unsanitary shower after I had a fairly good night’s sleep. My friend at the not so Royal Palm did not have that privilege.

But he did get to park at the door of his room. I had to use valet service.


Anonymous said...

An hour seems like a long stay

Dufer said...

You crack me up. I love asking the front desk for the pictures comment. I'll have to remember that one. My job has me in hotels and I try not to stay in anything less than the owner of the company would stay in. Hotels are not what they used to be. I had one in Louisville (expensive) that had a couple inches of dirty water in the tub when I pulled back the shower curtain. They comped the room. My favorite was having someone try to enter my room in Portland, OR at 4 am saying they were moved out of the room and left their shoes under the bed. The front desk had given them the room key but thankfully I had the other locks in place. Yes, the shoes were under the bed. I didn't need coffee that morning because I WAS AWAKE.