The Price of Parenthood

(Birmingham, AL) Last night, since I was in town, I drove out to watch my friend and co-worker’s 12 year old son from Oxford, AL play baseball. Trey was handpicked to be on a traveling team from Birmingham that is heading for a tournament in Cooperstown, NY in a few weeks. He has been injured and out of commission for several weeks. This was Trey’s first game back and he had a difficult time throwing strikes on the mound last night. It was obvious that this young athlete has not had many moments in his life when he struggled on a baseball field. He usually dominates.


I watched as Trey’s parents, Michael and Tracey, struggled with their son from the stands. They never took their eyes off him as he struggled on the mound. They moaned and groaned with each pitch that was not a strike but they never stopped encouraging him. They were focused on one thing. They wanted their son to succeed. There was no way they could separate themselves from what he was going through. In fact they probably hurt more than he did. Tracey said her stomach was in knots. Michael was analyzing every pitch. “His release is not right… His back leg is dragging…His delivery is not as smooth as usual….” Their eyes were absolutely glued on him. They watched every move. Tracey told her husband to go sit somewhere else. He made her nervous too.

And it was just a baseball game. Not an important baseball game either.

I didn’t bother to tell them the experience they had at the ballgame is a shadow of things to come. Trey will have many more successes in life than he will have struggles. You can look at him and know that.

But the struggles will come.

They do for all of us.

The truth is Michael and Tracey will never be able to separate themselves from whatever struggles Trey may face. When the struggles come, and they will, their stomach will be in knots and they will try to analyze every move and they will probably make each other nervous. There may be even a few sleepless nights along the way. The stakes will get higher too.

It is the price of parenthood. We pay it when they are kids and we pay it when they grow up. I have a strong feeling we pay that price until the day we die.

But the dividends we reap sure are worth much more than the price we pay.

And oh… by the way. His name is Trey Coile. You might want to write that name down. I have a feeling you will be reading about him in the sports pages in a few years.