Thursday, July 24, 2008

Can You Touch This?


I got this idea of lists from an unnamed college friend who is a master at this. Check her out. In the meantime here is a continuation of more facts that you probably don’t know and most definitely could not care less about:

49. I commuted from Reynolds to Atlanta for 12 months (100 miles one way) when I attended Mortuary School. That was in 1976-77. I had just graduated from UGA.

50. The mortuary school had a “social” with an Atlanta modeling school during that year. No girls showed up. Actually I didn’t show up either.

51. The future undertaker who sat next to me that year told me one day that he never wore underwear. Not sure how that conversation evolved but it evolved even more. I discovered that he had a rather famous (or maybe infamous) wife. She was featured in her birthday suit in Playboy Magazine that year. I bought a copy of that magazine and wanted to get her to sign it when she came to a family gathering at the end of the year. For some reason I didn’t. I suppose I was bashful. She sure wasn't.

52. I was driving to Atlanta to school one morning that year when I heard on the radio that Elvis had died. My first thought was wondering what funeral home got his body.

53. One morning I was driving on I-75 in Atlanta alone and was picking my nose. A car full of girls came up beside me, honked the horn and all five of them picked their nose at me and laughed.

54. I still pick my nose if I get the urge but I look in the rearview mirror first to be sure that car load of girls aren’t close by.

55. The best lunch meal anywhere is at Buckner’s Restaurant at Jackson-Barnesville Exit on I-75 about 30 minutes or so south of Atlanta. I ate there today at 3PM. Didn’t eat lunch on purpose because I knew I would be going by there. You sit with strangers with a “lazy susan” in the middle of the table. I’ve met a lot of folks at Buckner’s. Today I met the dad of a former major league pitcher. He met an undertaker.

56. The darkest and hottest bedroom I’ve ever been in was in Honduras when they turned the generator off at 10PM. I learned you better be on the bed by 9:59PM with your bladder empty or you will never find it - the bed or the can.

57. I got stuck for an hour in a stall in the ladies restroom at the UGA Graduate Studies Library one night. When I saw the female feet in the stall next to me I realized I was in the wrong room. I was trying to wait until everybody left but it was a very busy restroom. I learned that ladies suffer from IBS too.

58. My oldest son who had just graduated from college and I took a bath with soap, shampoo and the whole nine yards in an outside hot tub at an upscale New Orleans (Nawlins) hotel one New Year’s Day morning before a Sugar Bowl. We started something and others joined us and more followed us in what had become rather nasty water. We were very glad it was our idea and we were first.

59. A friend and I tried to check in a hotel while traveling (during college years)very late one night (or early one morning). They had no rooms but we talked the clerk into letting us sleep on the lounge chairs at the pool for a discounted rate.

60. I spoke for 45 minutes to a group of ladies one time and didn’t realize my pants were completely unzipped until a nervous lady told me after my speech.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here is something I learned the hard way, "Girls don't make passes with guys that pass gases".

Anonymous said...

I can vouch that all of this is true!!!
kg

Natalie said...

Every night I read the news online, and then I go straight to your blog. The news is always so depressing, but your blog always cheers me right up. :) Love ya!

Amy said...

Bruce! Thanks for the shout out.
Big Geo appears in No.25...
-your "unnamed college friend"