Frankly My Dear ....

Here are some things you probably don't know about this blogging undertaker and like Rhett himself probably don't care. But I got this idea from another blogger and thought I would try it myself.


1. I weighed only 170 lbs when I graduated from high school.
2. I once scored 38 points in a high school basketball game before there was such a thing as a 3 point shot.
3. I can play the “Boogie Woogie” on the piano.
4. I spoke at a church service years ago with no notes and halfway through my talk I went brain dead. Had to sit down and never finished my talk. I learned what it means to be humiliated.
5. I embalmed my mother.
6. I broke down and wept during that process when I looked into her eyes. I learned that there is nothing more familiar than your mama’s eyes.
7. I once spoke at an event where a former President and First Lady of the United States were in attendance
8. I was a pitcher in little league but one year I was chosen as the All Star Catcher
9. I found my daddy dead. The night before when I took him home, the last words he told me were, “I love you Bruce.”
10. I made an “E” on the first exam I ever took at the University of Georgia. I thought it meant “excellent.” I later found out the professor did not give “F’s” on his first exam.
11. My college roommate’s girlfriend got mad at him one time for seeing another girl. She got back at him by making out with me. I gladly obliged.
12. The godliest and wisest person I ever knew did not have a high school education.
13. When I was a teenager I always slept in my socks.
14. I stayed in the hotel suite in Little Rock one night where President Clinton reportedly had a rendezvous with one of his concubines.
15. I once dribbled a basketball down the middle of a major road in Athens, GA – buck naked. (That was 34 years ago in case you are wondering:-).
16. At one time I was a certified Emergency Medical Technician and later became a certified Cardiac Technician.
17. When I was a teenager I could break down a side of beef. I worked in the meat market of Goddard’s Store. I can still cut up a chicken faster than most.
18. One Sunday morning my mother came down out of the choir in her choir robe during the middle of a church service and grabbed my arm and moved me to the front row. She said I was misbehaving. And she was right.
19. My parents never missed my basketball games. After they died I found the notebooks she saved where she kept up with every point I ever scored.
20. I ran for public office only one time in my life. I was elected Coroner. I don’t think my wife voted for me.
21. My first car was a 1964 push button Plymouth. I paid $775 cash for it and used my own savings to pay for it.
22. I once got my finger caught in the meat cubing machine. I still have scars on my finger to prove it.
23. One time I traveled a long way to a speaking engagement and discovered I was exactly one month early.
24. My date and I once won a dance contest at a fraternity beach weekend party. I cheated but we still won.
25. I once did mouth to mouth resuscitation on a lady who promptly vomited in my mouth.
26. When I was 17 years old, I sat up all night next to the bed of a girl and held her hand. Her dad had suddenly died earlier that day. I married her a little over 5 years later.
27. I once had a double eagle playing golf - knocking a 5 iron in the hole on my second shot on a par five.
28. The highest rank I ever got in Boy Scouts was Second Class.
29. I brought in the New Year in 1975 in the back of an ambulance in Commerce Ga with a person having an epileptic seizure.
30. The best concert I ever attended was when Three Dog Night came to the Macon Coliseum in 1970. It may have been 1971.
31. I went on a blind double date one night during my college years with a friend. We introduced ourselves to the girls using each other’s names. In other words, his date called him Bruce all night. They ended up getting married.
32. During a portion of my college years I took a full load in college in the day and worked full time as an EMT at night on the 11PM-7AM shift.
33. I once had a girl I had met at the beach wake me up in the morning by singing outside my motel room window. The song? “Feel Like Making Love to You.” I didn’t and I never heard from her again.
34. At one time I could quote scripture for about two hours without stopping.
35. I played in a garage band called “The Discords” when I was in middle school.
36. I once played the guitar for the worship service at church.
37. One of my teammates on my high school basketball team went on to star in football at Ohio State and later in the NFL.
38. When I was in college and at home for the summer, I helped embalm a friend who had been killed in an accident that I had played ping-pong with three hours earlier.
39. I know all the words to the song, “Last Kiss.” I can also play it on the guitar.
40. I once was the Master of Ceremonies at at Beauty Pageant.
41. My best friends in kindergarten and elementary school are still my close friends today.
42. The best feeling I ever had was the moment I saw my firstborn son. Never had experienced anything like it. I was fortunate enough to experience that feeling two more times.
43. Actually three more times. Seeing my grandbaby girl for the first time was just as special.
44. I have been married 31 years to the same woman.
45. I absolutely detest legalism.
46. I have now spoken in 21 states.
47. This is my 556th blog post.
48. And counting.