Pray He Will be Gentle

I am not looking forward to sun rising in the morning. While most of you are sipping on your second cup of coffee, I’ll be bent over in a doctor’s office squeezing my ankles. I’m sure I will be thinking of the words of the Star Spangled Banner or the Doxology to divert my attention. Maybe I’ll break out and sing a bar or two. I am certain I won’t be whistling either song though.

I looked the other way when the lady stuck a needle in my vein the other day to do the blood work for this sordid affair. I have a feeling my eyes will be tightly shut when the good doctor massages the ole prostate.

A root canal with no Novocain would be much more pleasant.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I am having my annual physical in the morning. I’m sure the results of my blood work are already sitting on his desk. At my age, you never know what news you will get at such meetings. Just last night I talked to a friend who is my age who has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is hoping and praying they caught it in time.

So it is a smart thing for me to put myself at the doctor’s mercy. I am fully aware the doctor will be checking all kinds of stuff. But the prostate thing is the memory I will take with me.


Years ago I thought I had an enlarged prostate. I visited Dr. Sams and asked him if he could just give me the medicine he would normally give if he did the exam and found that it was enlarged. He told me I was crazy. I asked him if I needed to pull my pants down. I’ll never forget his reply:

“Unless you’ve got a hole in your pants.”

About the time I got bent over, britches at my ankles, his assistant opened the door and told him he had a phone call.

I turned and looked at her not moving from my very vulnerable position, “You think it would be okay if we have a little privacy in here?”

Hopefully we won't get interrupted in the morning. And hopefully I will be able to drive myself to the office tomorrow after he takes advantage of me.

Just pray he will be gentle.